Chapter 18

"Pause right there. Back it up, I want to see the last two pictures again"

Jai, one of NK's oldest friend and IT expert extraordinaire who had the ability to find anything and everything if it was online, nodded his head, "Mhmm"

"Yep, that’s it. Can you please zoom in on that?"

"Here you go. What are we looking at?"

"That! Imperial Hotel! That's strange"

Jai raised his brows in questions and NK shook his head, trying to put the pieces together in his head. "Out of all the pictures we have received in last four weeks, this is, wait let me remember, yes, I think, eighth time I have seen Suraj in front of Imperial hotel"

"And that’s weird, why? Isn't one of the perks of being all high and mighty in corporate world is to wine and dine in such hotels? You must know, you are one of those people". As Jai's fingers went up to finger quote, NK sniggered.

"Not me asshole! You are talking about my brothers. You are right though - him being in and around that hotel should not be a big deal"

"But?"

"But, I don’t know. Call it instinct, but something does not feel right with this one. You know what, can you pull up all the pictures we have with us with Imperial tag?"

"Yeah, here you go"

"Nineteen! Are you kidding me, he has been in and out of that place that many times. Nope, something is not right. Is it possible to get the pictures from inside of the hotel?"

"Well, our investigators cannot just wander inside a five star's lobby, whip their camera out and start clicking pictures"

"I know that smartass. What I am asking is, if it is possible for us to still get an eye inside the hotel"

"You mean hack into their database?"

NK's one eyebrow arched and this time Jai shook his head. "Yes, it is possible for me to hack into their system"

"Brilliant! Let's do that"

"Hooold on! I can hack in, but this is not a small scale coffee shop that you guys got me to hack back in the days. This is Imperial. They have a sophisticated system. I will need to get in and out within couple of minutes. Any more than that and they will know that someone was in their system"

"Fuck. Ok, what do you want to be able to do this then?"

"The floor he is frequenting, in all those visits would be great"

NK sniggered, but when Jai gave him a serious face, he sobered up. "Damn, you are serious"

"Do you really want to know what Suraj is doing in that hotel?"

"Definitely. If he is taking the pain of going to the same hotel that many times a month, then my gut says it is important. I don’t how and what, but it is important and I need to know it"

"Ok, so in that case I need you get me his approximate location"

"Argh! Ok, umm, can you pull up his tracker information? I want to know where is he right now"

Jai nodded as he moved the cursor on his screen to open the folder where they maintained all the information related to Suraj including the state-of-the-art locator app. He double clicked on the icon and the map of Delhi emerged on screen. Both NK and Jai squinted, as the map resolved itself to then zoom in on the blinking and moving red dot across one of the major highway in the metropolitan"

"There is your man. And taking in his current location and the next cross-section he is arriving at, umm, wait for it", Jai continued to look at the screen, and in couple of seconds, he rapped the table twice and grinned widely, "Yep! He is on his way to Imperial"

NK's head whipped toward the screen at lighting speed. Yes, the moving red dot indeed indicated that Suraj's car had just now taken a turn on the road that led either to the outskirts of Delhi or to The Imperial Hotel which was just before the city lines. And NK could bet that Suraj was doing the latter"

A big smile spread on his face and he thumped Jai's shoulder excitedly. "You, my man, are a genius. Just keep tracking him and contact our field investigator and tell him to stay on him. I will get you his position inside the hotel within few minutes"

"How? It's not like you can just barge inside the hotel and ask them about Suraj's whereabouts. These are guest confidential info."

"Yep, and I think I can figure out a way to get that confidential info. Thanks buddy. Just wait for my call"

He closed the main gate of Jai's workplace, while he fished out his mobile and dialled the number of one person he knew might be able to give him the exact kind of help he was looking for right now.

"Hello"

"Shayam Jiju where are you?"

"On the way to home. What's up?"

"Ok, I am at RD road right now. Will it be possible for you to pick me up? I need your help with something"

"Ok sure, I can be there in 10 mins"

"Great, thanks Jiju. I am standing at the crossroads just outside the area. You will be able to see me once you enter the road"

---

"You got to be kidding me!!!!"

"Jiju please, I won't be asking you this, if I could think of any other way"

"Why don't you talk to the VP over at Imperial? AR has organized several dinners and luncheons at Imperial, I am sure they will help"

"They might, but how long before this tiny detail that someone from AR is enquiring about Suraj, makes its way to his ear? In fact, how any of us even know about his visits to Imperial. We needed to do this discreetly and if we go invoking AR's name, I am afraid we are going to end up tipping our hands"

Shayam sighed. He knew NK was right. There was no way someone like Suraj did not have at least a handful of staff at Imperial on his payroll. And if even one of them caught wind of what they were trying to do, the whole thing would come tumbling down like deck of cards. He grumbled and then nodded his head, "Ok, fine. What do you want me to do?"

"I just got a message from my colleague Jai. Suraj arrived at The Imperial couple of minutes back. I need you to call the reception now and talk as if you are Mr. Khanna"

Shayam's eyes widened, "You want me to call posing his dad?"

He nodded his head, "Yeah, and, this is where I need you to dig deep and bring out that angry lawyer voice you have in there somewhere"

Shayam grumbled again, "Why don’t we skip the side notes and get to the point"

"Right, of course", NK grinned, making Shayam roll his eyes with a smile breaking out on his face too, "So, I need you to talk to them like an angry worried father who is looking for his son's whereabouts. That's it. I need you to fluster them enough that they hopefully don’t ask for any verification from you. We can call from that local pharmacy. I checked already, they have no CCTVs there. So, nothing will trace back to us"

Shayam sighed and then followed NK, who was already standing in the middle of the road to cross and walk into the miniscule looking pharmacy at the corner. He knew they were gambling with this whole thing and he hoped with all his might that this childish plan of NK actually borne the result they desperately needed to fill gaps in their investigation.

"The Imperial, Good Afternoon, how may I help you?"

Clearing his throat and talking a deep breath, Shayam opened his mouth, forcing out every word in as rude and firm tone as possible.

"I want to talk to your manager, right now!"

"Ummm, may I please know who is this Sir? And what is this in regards to?"

"Listen boy, I don't really have time to answer your questions right now. And this is Mr. Khanna from Acme for you. You know the company that is responsible for half the event revenue of your hotel". Shayam barked in the phone.

The receptionist on the other end trembled with fear and within seconds the phone was handed over to the manger.

"Mr. Khanna, what a pleasant surprise Sir. What can I do for you today?"

"You can start with redirecting me to my son. It has been two hours since he told me that he will be visiting Imperial today. But now, I am trying to get hold of him from last half hour but he is out of reach. There has been an unavoidable situation at office and my son is busy with god knows what"

The manager shifted uncomfortably unable to decide how to respond to an angry father.

"Sir, I just saw Suraj Sir walking in few minutes back. I can forward your call to his suite"

"Please do that, actually you know what, don’t. I am sick and tired of this. I will be at Imperial myself in next few minutes. What suite number you said he is staying in this time?"

"Of course Sir, you are always welcome at Imperial. Let me quickly check… ah yes, he is in his usual suite Sir, number 1201"

"Great, I will see you in some time"

Shayam quickly slammed the phone down as they both rushed towards their car with NK immediately messaging the suite number to Jai, and finally turning towards Shayam with a huge smirk on his face.

"You were unbelievable Jiju. For a second I thought you were actually Suraj's dad"

Shayam grimaced as he muttered Shut up! earning another loud laugh from NK.

---

Khushi wasn’t a person of faith. She had faith in herself. She absolutely had faith in her Jiji and Buaji. But if someone ever asked her if she believed in a higher power or God, she would deny it with all her heart. May be her life had made her a disbeliever or maybe it was the people in it, but the only thing Khushi now believed in was herself. And so when she got a personal invite from Nani to attend the small pooja they arranged at Raizada house, although she did agree to come, so she wasn’t disrespecting anyone, being here trying to help with something she didn’t even believe in made her feel like a fraud.

She dropped down on one of chair in the corner of the outer garden of Raizada house and exhaled - her mind immediately going to the one person who was another big reason why she accepted Nani's invite. Arnav, she couldn’t help the name erupting like a sigh.

She still didn't fully understand what she said yes to last week. She also was not completely sure about her own feelings for him. But, one thing she was sure of was that he was the only person in her life on earth so far who made her feel strong and vulnerable, both at the same time. He was that one person around whom she felt somewhat less fractured. One person she was still figuring out how to say no to.

She still wondered how one man could be all what Arnav actually was. As if being brilliant with the IQ of a near genius and having looks that brought every woman she had observed around them to their knees were not enough, he had to be this loyal and caring too. His devotion to his family and AR was something she still was in awe of. And then he had to go ahead and tell her that he was falling for her. And like always, her heart and mind had no other option but to say yes to him.

Memory of their conversation and the feel of his touch slithered across her mind, and she couldn’t stop the shiver run through her skin. He made her feel so much. Something she had no idea how to handle.

Nothing really changed between them in these last seven days. They still debated over the policies and decisions around AR, still spoke for hours discussing the future of AR and he still overruled several of her ideas that he thought was just not feasible.

"Thinking about me, gorgeous?"

And she gasped. Yep, one thing did change. His effect on her magnified by leaps and bounds. Or, maybe he always had that effect, but now he no longer cared to hide it from her.

His knuckles swept past her cheeks, and her mind came to a standstill as her eyes connected with his. "It's ok, I can wait until you are done talking to yourself"

She chuckled, "What are you doing here? I thought you will be a while in AR. Did everything go ok with NK?"

He sighed, taking her hands in his and pulling her up, only to clutch her tight and drop his head on her shoulder. He then placed a quick kiss on her neck and pulled back, making sure to keep her encircled in his arms still.

"It is still going. We thought Jai will have something for us by now. But looks like there was some sort of delay. I just couldn’t wait at AR anymore so here I am. NK should let us know once he hears from Jai"

"That’s good then. This may as well be the smoking gun we need"

He tilted his head and she shook her head with a small smile, "Fine, may be not the smoking gun. But I really hope Imperial hotel might give us something to move forward"

"Hmm". He nodded his head, and keeping one hand still tight around her waist, brought the other one up to caress her cheek with his thumb.

"I should go check inside before Nani decides to disown me. Want to join me?"

She hesitated. It was just for a millisecond but he saw it. Somehow he knew she was not comfortable being thrust in his family's religious affair. He saw it yesterday too when Nani decided to invite her. He was grateful of course that she was still here despite having reservations about the whole thing. But he never wanted her to do or be at some place she didn’t want to. Not when he could do something about it. "You don’t have to be here, you know that right?"

"You don’t want me here?"

He chuckled cupping her face in both his hands then, and bringing his lips near her ear whispered in that deep baritone, "I always want you near me sweetheart. I seem to always want you". He pulled back a bit, his eyes conveying her what his words hinted a little and her legs buckled slightly, heat from his body making its way to her skin, "Arnav", she whispered back closing her eyes.

"But", he continued, his fingers still moving softly on her cheeks, "If you don’t feel comfortable sitting in or being part of something you don’t believe in, then you don’t have to. Tell you what, Jai needed one of us on call with him to help him navigate through some of the archives while his delayed program yields us the whereabouts of Suraj at Imperial. Why don’t you help him with it while the pooja gets over? You can use my office on second floor. Join us once the party starts in couple hours?"

"You sure?"

"Absolutely. Now come on, let's get you settled in "

She exhaled in relief, a soft thanks leaving her now smiling lips.

---

"I thought we had a party"

Shayam looked up with a smirk from his side of the sixteen-seater dining table, as the help completed setting up the table.

"This is a party", Akaash joined them too thumping NK on his back, "and we just had a pooja, what did you expect would follow - booze?"

"Well, I never say no to a good…", NK trailed off as all the elders in the family walked in the dining area, effectively shutting him up and making Shayam and Akaash erupt in silent laugh

"Good what Nikunj", came from Manorama who was still on cloud 9, finally having the youngest member of the family home.

NK cringed as everyone around him settled down one-by-one on their respective chairs, "Good, err, company Ma, and can you please for the love of…."

"Language", Nani chimed in interrupting him again and adding to the growing chuckles around the table.

"Right, of course. What I meant was, Ma can you please not call me that. My name is NK. Short & simple, use it, please"

"Why would you murder such a nice name I would never get. But for me you will always be Nikunj. No way I am calling my son NK. What does that even mean. It finishes before it even begins"

"I am with Ma on this one, Nikunj", Akaash joined in again, earning a deep scowl from NK.

"Does he have his own office in AR?", came an unexpected question from Payal suddenly, making NK sigh in relief, thankful for a reprieve.

"Nope, we can get him a cubicle though", Arnav answered with the raised brow.

"Aha, in that case, I think Nikunj Singh Raizada has a better ring to it. We should gift you a coming back gift - a name plate that you can keep on your table". Payal completed furthering NK's groan.

"Why, dear god why!"

"Why? You come back home after three years and expect to get a free pass. This is just the beginning little brother", Arnav threw one of the spare table cloth at NK earning a disapproving look from Nani albeit a small smile still adorning her face.

"Whatever. Can we eat please? You can pull my legs, arms and head after"

"Done! We will have rounds of dart game after dinner. And ladies and gentlemen, the dart board would be NK's face, and instead of darts we will make use of all the old fruits that Mira was about to dispose of"

NK slid down his chair, both his palms coming on his face and rounds of laughter ripped through the entire dining table - something that never stopped throughout the dinner.

Khushi smiled too as she took in the atmosphere around her from one of the corner-most chair on the dining table. After spending good four hours working and brainstorming with Jai, by the time she made it back to the living area of this humungous mansion, the pooja was almost over and she couldn't help feeling awkward and guilty again. But the moment Nani saw her, she gave her the most warmest of smile and then hug, her frail hands cupping her face lovingly and then with the same warmth she then asked her to open her mouth, and fed her a small piece of sweet. Something that made Khushi almost choke with emotions. Emotions that always seemed to surround her in presence of the set of people that she had come to know and somewhat understand in past couple of months - people who were her Jiji's second family - people who were each successful in their own right, uber-rich and sophistication personified - these people who in that moment were loud, and looked so relaxed and happy. Each and every one of them had that content look on their faces, every one of them seemed to be basking in the warmth of family and love. Two words that Khushi had no understanding of.

Suddenly, like a train screeching to halt, her mind staggered - what was she doing in between these people? She didn’t belong here. She then heard Payal utter something loudly, adding in the unending smiles around her. Who was she kidding? She had no place at that table. She could call Payal and Madhumati her own as loud as she wanted, but at the end of the day, she didn’t belong with them. Not really. For the world, she was Khushi Gupta, CIO of one of the biggest conglomerate in the world, but in reality she would always be Khushi Abhay Verma.

Nature vs Nurture - didn’t it go something like that? Didn’t the nature always win? There was no way she could ever outrun her parents genes. She was bound to be like them. She was bound to be someone who destroyed happiness. Someone who was uncaring, heartless and spineless. She could pretend, but at the end of the day, she was just like the people who birthed her, she had to be.

Sickness flooded her insides when she then remembered all the moments with that one man who was responsible for her presence on that table. Needles like pain clawed her insides. What was she doing with Arnav? What was she doing saying yes to leap with him when she knew she would too end up either leaving him like her mother or breaking his heart like her father. Why was she gambling with someone else's happiness when she knew she was doomed.

And just like that the sound of laughter and giggles, that seemed beautiful a minute ago took the form of sheer noise. She saw it coming before it did - her breath escalating to an unwelcome level, her heart beat speeding up trying to reach that deafening height, her palms getting clammy and her neck having that all familiar tremble. She closed her eyes tight. Fuck! Was she going to have a panic attack. Her fingers curled across her thighs thankfully hidden from everyone's view, trying to grab on to some semblance of control. Her fingers shivered as she tried to come up with some reason, any reason to leave the table without spoiling this beautiful day for everyone. She would have too but then the pair of warm hands engulfed hers completely and her eyes flew open with a startle.

Deep pools of caramel were staring at her with so much care, understanding and something she was too scared to even name, that she felt her heart slowing down slightly.

"Breath", he whispered, being careful to not draw any attention toward them.

She was too wired to follow his soft command, and so he moved his other hand slowly across her waist, the height of table and the fact that no one sat in front of them hiding their interaction from others. His fingers moved soothingly on her back, and he bent slightly and spoke again, "Breath Khushi. Just breath, come on. Just let go"

Finally snapping back to reality, she felt his hands splayed across her back, and releasing a shaky breath, she nodded. Exhale - Inhale - another painful exhale and another inhale. She continued, her fingers now intertwined with his tight as she tried to absorb whatever he was offering in that moment.

She didn’t know how long she sat there like that - when finally, she could hear the people around her again. The ever present fear inside her coiling back - at least for now.

---

It was close to midnight, but Raizada House was still abuzz with excitement. Everyone were now scattered around in the cosy living room bathed in the warm glow coming from the stone walled fireplace in the centre wall.

Having every single member of the family under one roof after so long had somehow triggered the reminiscing of the old memories and stories.

"I still remember how Di use to cry if she ever lost in any competition, which, mind you weren't that many, because she won almost all of them"

"NK, she still gives out extreme reaction when she loses. Try playing any card game with her and you will know", Arnav replied, earning a soft thump of pillow that landed on his face, courtesy very irritated looking Anjali.

"Why are we even talking about me? Do you all not remember how Arnav use to lock himself in room for an entire day if he ever got anything below A+ grade"

"Bhai you were such a geek", Payal howled

"He still is". Akaash joined in, getting the same pillow that Anjali threw Arnav's way, at his face.

"He may be a geek, but he was a musical one. Where is that guitar you use to play Bhai? You won so many competitions". NK spoke, moving himself from the couch to the plush carpet, and then dropping his head on Anjali's lap.

"It is in one of the room on second floor. Why don’t I get it right now. It is such a perfect time, you should play it Arnav". Shayam got up only for Arnav to rose up too, "No Jiju. I am not playing anything. It's been too long. I don’t think I even remember how to play anymore"

"Muscle memory Bhai. You don’t forget things like this", NK spoke up

"It wasn’t just playing the guitar, Arnav had one of most beautiful voice too. You should play beta", Nani spoke lovingly making Arnav curse softly

"Now I really have to hear this. Come on Bhai please". Came from Payal

Shayam who had managed to disappear amidst this whole thing, finally came back, with a beautiful black guitar in his hands. He almost extended his hands toward Arnav, when he moved back from the sitting area, "No! I am sorry Nani, but no. I cannot, I will not play. End of discussion!", and with the tone that left no room for debate, he walked out.

With a sigh, Shayam placed the guitar on one side, keeping his hands on Anjali who too had the knowing look on her face. They knew there was a slim chance for Arnav to agree to their request anyways. Anjali knew very well how music was another thing that connected them both to their late parents. And the day they died, Arnav's interest in music died with them. That guitar, which their Dad gifted Arnav, had been sitting in their parents old room for more than a decade now, but other than getting dusted every day, no one touched it.

"Will he be ok?". Khushi finally asked, still stunned with last few minutes that took place. Her eyes strained in the direction where Arnav just disappeared in.

"He will. He just needs some time", Anjali answered.

Nodding her head, Khushi then got up too, excusing herself feigning the need for a glass of water, and then took off in the same direction as Arnav.

---

He could still feel his mind muddled with the rush of pain that always filled him whenever he remembered his parents. He did feel the stab of guilt for snapping on his family when they did nothing wrong. He knew why they asked him to play. After so many years that reluctance that he always displayed with anything to do with his Ma and Dad, if not completely gone should have at least condensed to a manageable scale. But for some reason, he still felt the same degree of ache when he remembered them.

He took a deep cleansing breath. He needed to get back. It was a joyous day for everyone today. NK had finally moved back home. Arnav released a sigh, and straightened himself. He would, in no way make this day about himself. Clawing his fingers through his hair, he then turned back to join everyone, only to collide with that one person who he never expected to follow him, but deep down needed her to, so much.

Khushi's forehead etched with lines of worry, as both their hands shot out at the same time to stabilize each other.

Somehow she knew she will find him deep into this beautiful garden of his. Didn’t he describe this place as his thinking space? But he wasn’t thinking right now, he was hurting. And the mystery she had come to accept now was that she just couldn’t stand him feeling that particular emotion. So, she did what she always did - she came looking for him.

He blinked twice and then without thinking, he just pulled her toward him.

She ran her hands on his back, trying to sooth him as much as she could. Both quite for a minute. Or maybe it just felt like a minute - the comfortable silence stretching between them.

"Are you ok?", she finally decided to break the silence, hoping to absorb some of the tension that still oozed out of him.

He took a shaky breath and then placing quick kiss on the side of her forehead, he murmured softly, "I am fine Khushi"

She pulled back and arched an eyebrow making him chuckle through the melancholy he was still fighting against. "I am. I…", he frowned not sure exactly what to tell her or better yet from where to start.

"You don’t have to"

"No. I am just trying to figure out if I should say things out loud which inside my head sounds really juvenile now"

"Arnav"

"I was pretty good you know"

Her eyes knitted in confusion, not sure what he meant by that last statement while he walked toward one of the deck chair on the edge of the pool and throwing his legs across the chair, he pulled her to sit right in front of him. He then took both her hands in his and continued in a heavy voice, "Akaash was right. I was a geek. I was really good at academics"

She just smiled not saying a word and mistakenly breaking the flow of whatever he was preparing himself to tell her.

"And I loved it. Studying fascinated me. I liked sports too, but give me a book and I would spend hours with it. But then we were all on a vacation, and there was this local version of Karaoke going on in one of the hotel we stayed in. And well, I wanted to try it. So, I did, and that day I discovered that I had a knack for music too. I loved every minute of trying to play the instruments they had there, but then obviously when we returned home, I was back to my books. But, Dad pushed me to learn some of the instruments. I resisted a lot, but he made sure that I at least explored this so-called talent that I had. I played for I think three years. Got pretty good at it in fact. He wanted me to perform in one of the state level event. I would have too, but that year I fell sick. And so, I enrolled to do it the following year". He paused, his throat clogging up now, and somehow Khushi knew what was coming. So, she tightened her fingers around his encouraging him to go on.

"Coincidentally, that day of my event was also Ma and Dad's wedding anniversary. So, after my performance, when we all were set to go back home together, I forced them to go out and enjoy. They resisted you know. They wanted to spend the night with us, but I was unmoving. I wanted them to have fun. And so they went. And…"

He blinked back the tears, and continued, "they never came back. I still remember that night so vividly. That damn door bell followed by a loud and incessant knock. That knock that changed everything for us. And that was the last time I ever went near a musical instrument. There had been so many what-ifs. What if I didn’t fall sick that original year of the event? What if I decided to stick to my studies and not play that year? What if I didn’t force them to go when clearly they wanted to be with us?"

She didn’t even realise when but her face was now wet. Her heart weeping for the enigmatic man in front of her. She turned slightly, her arms going around him as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. They didn’t know for how long they stayed that way, when finally, he pulled back. A shadow flickered in his eyes as he pressed his forehead to hers and cupping the back of her head, he released a deep sigh. His fingers then sifted into her hair, as she felt his lips at her ear. "Thank you"

Her hold on his wrist tightened as she gave a small smile. "For what?"

"For listening. For showing the care but not pity. Thank you Khushi for just being you. For coming into my life"

Her breath hitched as his deceptively husky voice enveloped her. Giving out a shuddering exhale, she nodded her head. "I cannot really assume what you are going through Arnav. But I know one thing. I know how hard it can be to let go of the pains from the past. I am not very good at it. But you Arnav, I can say one thing for sure, you can definitely try. All those lovely people sitting outside, they will bend themselves out of shape to help you with it. You just have to let go. The way you are still trying to find that 'what-if', the way you are trying to find the person to blame for that horrible night, you need to let it go. Try to replace the memory of what is hurting you, to a memory that made it special in the first place. You are lucky to have memories like that. Relive it. Let go of these assumptions when the reality of your past, minus that night of course, if so lovely. Let go of whatever it is that is bringing this much pain on that handsome face"

He scrunched his eyes tight, only to finally open them wide. The remnants of tears now dry as he gazed at the beautiful woman in front of him. He couldn't help but be amazed yet again - of her strength, of her ability to read him so accurately every single time. He also couldn’t help but feel another kind of ache in his heart for her. For the lack of such lovely memories in her life.

He placed a quick kiss on her forehead, "You think I am handsome", he grinned, hoping to lighten the air, and also vowing to be that person to fill her life with memories worth reliving.

She rolled her eyes, "You know how you look. Stop digging for more complements. I am not inflating your ego anymore"

"Ouch, you wound me sweetheart"

She chuckled. "Thank you", he whispered once more, getting a small nod and a smile from the woman who was becoming too important too quickly for him.

---

Everyone paused what they were doing and Anjali gasped in shock as Arnav walked back in and picked up the guitar. He then comfortably placed himself on one of the high chair and tilted the guitar to tighten its screws as he looked up with a small smile.

"Arnav?"

"I think it's time to let go Di. Or at least I need to start the process of letting go"

Anjali bit back a sob as she took in the meaning of what her little brother had just said. Unable to believe this was finally happening after decade and a half.

Everyone moved toward where Arnav sat. Forming a haphazard circle around him. Arnav chuckled at the way his family was gearing up to hear him play, as if he was some sort of renowned musician.

He was still trying to remember the cords and notes - trying hard to think of a song that he could play after so many years when Khushi walked in too. Her eyes twinkling with that unrestrained and rare smile when she saw what he was doing.

And just like, without a second thought, Arnav knew what he was going to play. His fingers moving across the length of the guitar, music from the cords, and words from his lips bursting out.

The moment his music swept across the room, Khushi gasped. He was playing the same song on which they danced on the night of the AR annual party. The same night she asked him to walk away from her.

Softly and huskily, the words of the song spilled out of Arnav's lips and Khushi couldn't do anything but hang on to the seduction he was weaving around her. His eyes moving across her face, the way his fingers moved across her skin that day.

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?

If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call

If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I'll never know what the future brings

But I know you're here with me now

We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?

If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?

If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my . . . .

There was a stunned silence, like Arnav couldn't continue anymore. As if everything he wanted her know was all out in open and the last word of the song was just too surreal to speak out just like that.

His eyes were searching hers so intently, as if he no longer remembered that they were not alone in the room. His entire essence zeroed in on one person who had changed the meaning of life for him.

His Khushi, who was staring at him with the same intensity. The realization of where he stopped that song, that last word that he left hanging in air, made her feelings go haywire. Her heart trying to break out of her chest as everything other than Arnav ceased to exist for her.

She sat there, her eyes trained on him and abruptly, without giving it a second thought, she walked out. Followed by Arnav, who too realised after a minute about the gravity of what just happened.

It was time for him to follow her this time.

---

A paralyzed silence descended, as every single occupant of the living room forgot how to breathe. Each one of them was deep in thought, unable to decide what was more shocking - Arnav playing guitar after so many years or his eyes boring into Khushi the entire time, almost as if his life depended on her or both of them leaving the room abruptly after.

None of them knew for how long they all sat like that, until almost suddenly, Anjali looked up at Shayam, and blinked her eyes several times as if assuring herself that all of it was a reality.

Taking a deep breath, she caught hold of Shayam's hands and whispered urgently.

"Arnav and Khushi?"

She then turned her head towards Nani and repeated, still in daze.

"Arnav and Khushi??"

And before any of them could even react, her lips turned up in a full blown smile when she almost jumped out of the sofa and screamed again.

"Arnav and Khushi, oh my god, oh my dear god! Shayam did you see that? Our Arnav. How did we not know this before. I am so so happy. This is so amazing!"

Nani chuckled loudly seeing Anjali dancing with joy as she turned towards Madhumati. "Madhumati, Is this ok with you? I mean we cannot ask for anyone better for our Arnav. But would you be ok with this?"

"Ok? I am so happy about this. In my opinion there is no one better for Khushi than Arnav. He is Yin to her Yang". Madhumati replied, her eyes shining.

"We should talk to them right now. We should tell them how happy we are with their decision" Anjali exclaimed, her voice tinkling with happiness.

Shayam who was all quite until now looked up at NK and then at Akaash, both of them had their worried eyes trained on him, as if silently begging him to get a handle on the situation. They knew their Arnav Bhai and they knew him enough to understand that if any of them even tried to talk to him about this, he would not react the way they were expecting him to.

Nodding and taking a deep breath, Shayam cleared his throat, loudly enough for all the merriments to stop.

"Anjali, I don't think we should do anything right now"

But immediately flinched as he took in the combined frowned expression of Anjali, Nani and Madhumati.

"Why? Didn't you see what happened Shayam?"

"I did and that's why I am telling you, we should do nothing"

As Anjali gave him another disapproving look, Shayam sighed extending his hands towards her and making her sit next to him. Holding her hands, he then looked at others. "If they are in fact together, I cannot be happier. But, the way they left the room is what is bothering me"

"Well, maybe they felt awkward around us, may be if we tell them that we all approve of them and are really happy for them, they would feel better"

"Anjali, people seek approval when they are sure about their relationship. When they are secure with what they have between them. And the expressions they both had was not of a relationship but of confusion. I know Arnav and in these few months I have come to know Khushi too and the kind of people they both are, they would come to us on their own once they are sure about themselves. We all talking to them will not help them, it will just make the matter worse. Let's give them time. Give them space. Let them come to us when they feel ready"

Anjali's shoulders slumped but she nodded her head. She knew her husband was absolutely right and in that moment she hated him for always being the wise one.

Shayam smiled as he took in the grumpy face of his beautiful wife. He raised their entwined hands to his lips and placed a small kiss on the back of her hand. "Nani and Buaji, please don't ask them anything. Let's all behave as if nothing happened"

"Of course, you are right. Whatever you say. As long as they are happy, we are happy too"

NK and Akaash released the breath they didn’t know they were holding as they grinned at each other.

"Jiju, you are awesome. Think I am a fan of that convincing power of yours" NK spoke as he jumped out of the couch and yawned loudly.

"Ditto! No wonder he gets paid all the big bucks" Akaash replied, gaining a chuckle from Shayam, who shook his head, placing another kiss on Anjali's head, "Let's go to sleep. Enough excitement for one day, don’t you think"

---

Bidding good night to everyone, Akaash stepped inside his room, realizing that Payal hasn’t spoken a word this whole time .

Frowning, he turned towards her, who was now sitting on the bed rigidly, her fingers fidgeting with the bed sheet. Her forehead was scrunched up and her eyes were boring holes on the floor. In all the time of knowing her, never he had seen her this confused.

"Payal"

She looked at him with wide eyes, as if surprised with the fact that they were in their room and were not surrounded by their family anymore.

"Ummm, Its late. We should sleep isn't it?"

She almost got up, only for Akaash to place his hands on both her shoulders and then bring her close to him.

"What is it sweetheart? You haven't spoken anything from the time Bhai and Khushi left the room. Are you ok? What are you thinking?"

Tiny drop of tear escaped out of Payal's eyes, making her close her eyes in irritation.

He hugged her urgently, his voice just above a whisper, "Payal you are scaring me. Are you angry about what happened? Are you not happy about them?"

A loud sarcastic laugh escaped her lips as she extracted herself from his embrace. She then stood up and walked towards the window and sighed painfully.

"Akaash, if anyone can care about Ku in the way she deserves to, it is Bhai. If they are actually together, no one will be happier for Ku than me"

"Then what's wrong?"

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Payal turned back and spoke in a pained voice.

"You don't know about Khushi, Akaash. What she has gone through. The kind of people she had to deal with. There is a reason she keeps her distance when it comes to relationships. She doesn't believe in them. In all these years she has created this wall around herself, something she doesn't allow even me and Buaji to enter. And whenever, for our happiness she has done something beyond her comfort zone, it usually backfires. She does things to make us happy but, every single time, one small hiccup and her insecurities erupts like a volcano, making her withdraw even more inside that shell. I saw her face Akaash. I saw both their faces. Where on one hand Bhai had so much of love and faith for her, she had confusion and hesitation. We don't know what is going on with them, but if at all Bhai tries to take even one step faster than what her mind can allow this is all going to come tumbling down. She will hurt herself and she will hurt him and that too very badly. And I am scared Akaash, I am just so scared."

Akaash was next to her immediately as he took her in his arms again. Running his fingers through her hair, he spoke softly.

"Do you want to talk to Khushi about this?"

"No. Jiju was right. If we talk to them, it might just make things worse."

"Then Payal, you just have to be patient. If at all something goes bad, we are all going to be here ready to support them. Khushi is not alone anymore. She has our entire family now. We just have to show faith. And I am sure, everything will be fine."

Payal tightened her arms around Akaash, as she closed her eyes hoping and praying that Akaash was right.

---

Khushi pulled the light pashmina tight around herself, the wind playing with the curls around her face. She was back on the balcony of the room she ended up sleeping-in always whenever she stayed in Raizada house. Her eyes trained on the water sloshing in the swimming pool beneath but her mind lost. She wanted to empty her mind. She wanted to not think or feel or whatever it is her heart, body and soul was trying to do in that moment. So, she pulled her eyes up toward the sky, trying to notice some of the mundane details like how very bright the sky was that night considering how cold and damp the air felt around her.

She was losing the battle with herself though as she realised that the sky or the pool or the air or anything else around her for that matter, couldn’t even hold a shred of her focus. She closed her eyes shut, trying to resist the direction her mind was taking her into and another series of tremble shot through her spine. Still unable to understand what just happened. That song, his voice, his eyes and above all else, the point at which he decided to stop singing. 'Wife', that was the word he left unsaid. Was she reading too much or was that pause from his side deliberate?

Even though she could try to find some semblance of sense to it all, there was one thing she still couldn’t make sense of it.

It was not the desire and passion she saw in his eyes that was bothering her in that moment, it was what followed. That look of understanding. That look, which now when she thought about it, he always seemed to have whenever he came close to her. She wouldn’t lie and be a fool to think that she was not hesitant. Being near him and not run was still something she was trying very hard to get used to. What she didn’t quite get was why was he not taking what he clearly wanted. Why after coming so close few times now, had he backed off without kissing her or taking that electricity that always seemed to burn bright and hot between them any further?

It almost seemed as if he knew the actual reason behind this dilemma that circulated her veins when it came to relationships. He gave her the space she always needed without even waiting for her to ask for it. And that is what had now started bothering her. Although she realised that they both could read each other like back of their hands - this still felt strange. How can he show this level of understanding when he knew nothing about her past? In fact no one other than Payal, Buaji and her old therapist knew how scarred her life had been. No one other than them knew what kind of broken person resided beneath the iron-walled façade she portrayed in front of everyone. Arnav knew nothing about it. And in all honesty she never ever wanted him to.

She knew how deep AR corp. excavated when it came to doing background checks of any new professional relationships. So it wouldn’t surprise her if Arnav would have tried to know at least a bit about her past especially after the panic attack she had under this very same roof. Since he was yet to ask anything from her at all, she was not sure if he had gone to anyone else? She knew Arnav will never come to know anything about her from Payal or Buaji, and she had doctor-patient privilege with her therapist, and even Arnav Singh Raizada wasn’t powerful enough to break through that. So then why did she kept seeing that restraint in his eyes?

She grumbled softly. She didn’t like not knowing or not able to solve something. Her arms around herself tightened ever further. The need for something filling every single pore of her body. Another wave of irritation swept past her as she tried to think of what was it that she needed now? Was it just the reason behind Arnav's care or was it something else?

She shook her head in annoyance when something hard and warm at her back made her go completely still. Arnav's hands curved around her abdomen, and he pinned her back against his chest.

She closed her eyes, and dropped her head down, as he just held her. The lethal rhythm of their breaths echoing and entwining together. And just like that, the need she felt few minutes back subsided, along with all questions and doubts she had sprouting all over her mind. Nothing else existed in that moment.

"Khushi", his voice rolled over her, deep and husky with slight trace of that seduction she was all too familiar with.

Her own hands rose to settle over his, which were clasped tight against her torso, dangerously close to her breasts.

One of his hands then moved up, tracing her arms and then tilting his face he placed a kiss on her forehead while moving the stream of her hair to one side, exposing the line and curve of her neck and shoulder. Rest of her breath went out like whoosh as he next shifted the material of her top and that pashmina slightly off her shoulder and bent to kiss her soft skin. Her body prickled with heat and her belly clenched as he opened his mouth to nip along the way as he traced the entire column of her bare skin.

Loud moan erupted out her lips, as he continued the journey with his lips and that light scruff on his jaw toward her long neck. Then suddenly it was not enough. The closeness, the skin he had access to - it was just not enough. Dazed, he then pulled back a little, only to spun her around. He backed her up toward the banister behind her and his lips immediately dropped on the front of her neck. Her fingers dove into his hair, scratching, pulling.

"Arnav". She whispered, and he stopped to look at her. And then he leaned toward her. His hands cupping her face, eyes hooded with barely contained need. Their breath mingled, eyes closing shut - he was barely half an inch away from her lips, when the sane part of his brain kicked in. His eyes widened and he looked at the beautiful woman in his arms - her eyes were closed, lips quivering and her chest heaving. He groaned out loud. Did she know how she looked in that moment? Did she have any inkling to what she was doing to him? He knew she was giving him what he wanted so badly. He also knew that she wanted him with the same intensity too. But then, his mind decided to fast-forward this moment and he froze. She may have wanted him in that moment, but he was sure that later she would regret wherever their bodies were heading towards.

"Fuck" slipped his lips, and with a frown she opened her eyes. And there it was again. His eyes swirling with blatant desire mixed with the damn understanding.

"Arnav?". She couldn’t help ask.

Swallowing visibly, he dropped his forehead on hers - commanding his body to get a grip. He then kissed right next to her lips, and then before he could stop himself, he nipped her jaw in frustration. She hissed in response, and he finally eased his hold on her.

"I….", he stopped.

Was he going to talk about the song? Were they going to have the conversation she may be wasn’t ready for? Or did he intend to just ignore whatever happened and chalk it up to misunderstanding?

He shook his head, and he dropped one final kiss on her forehead. "Think we should call it a night?"

And the understanding of his continued as he choose the latter. So she nodded her head and took his hands that he extended, only to bid him good night a moment later.

---

Khushi frowned in her sleep when she heard a loud knock on her door. Thoughts of Arnav and the feel of his hands kept her awake long after she went to bed. She buried her face more into the pillow hoping for the noise to go away, but it kept on getting louder and louder. Finally after a while, she threw her cover aside with a curse as she got up on her wobbly feet and opened her door, her eyes squinting at the sudden intrusion of light from outside.

She blinked several times, when the worried face of NK materialised and all her sleep evaporated. "Come with me, right now"

She frowned as she looked at her watch that glowed 2:45 am. She followed him with a nod, Arnav too walking down the stairs looking equally dishevelled and worried.

She raised her eyebrows at him, to which he just shook his head, "No clue, but he is making a habit of pulling us out of our rooms at ungodly hours"

When they reached NK's room, they were not at all surprised when they saw Akaash and Shayam sitting there with similar sleepiness and panic in their eyes.

"Ok we are all here now. Can you please tell us what is it?". Shayam spoke stifling a yawn.

"The software Jai was working on, it finally cracked. We now have feeds from inside of the Imperial. Umm, I may as well show it to you all"

He clicked on the play button on his laptop, as everyone moved closer to the screen.

It was the view of a lobby. There were around three rooms visible from the angle the video was taken and the farthest room read 1201. The time and date were blinking in the bottom right corner, which showed the date of the blast, with the time blinking as 1.30 pm. About 30 seconds later, a woman wearing a blue coloured, knee length dress walked up to the 1201 room and raised her hands to knock on the door twice. Within seconds, the door opened, only to reveal Suraj with that creepy smile on his face. He bent down to kiss the woman and then wrapped his hands around her waist and picked her up in one fluid motion before pulling her inside the room. But, just before the door closed, he twirled her around making her laugh loudly and that's when NK paused the video.

"Nope! No fucking way". Akaash groaned out loudly and a loud gasp of shock left Khushi's lips.

"Trust me Bhai, I checked and rechecked these feeds several times. I wish this wasn’t true but most of the feeds has caught her face clearly"

"We have known her for so many years. She was not just an employee. She has been a friend. I cannot bloody believe this. May be… may be she doesn’t know who he really is". Rare irritation shined through his tone as Shayam ran his fingers through his hair.

NK then looked up at Arnav. Khushi too turned to take in his wide eyes.

"Bhai?"

"Arnav?"

Still staring at the paused screen, he brought his palms to the back of the chair in front of him as he struggled to get his voice to work.

"How can she not know? How can someone not know what kind of person they are sleeping with?". Arnav spit out in a dangerous voice.

"We need to talk to her. May be there is more to this than what we are seeing here". Khushi tried to find some explanation to the insane piece of information but that only spurred Arnav on, and he just straightened himself and continued in a cold tone, "No, no talking. The only people who will now talk to Lavanya are CBI. NK, get our head of security to get in touch with our contact in CBI. I need this done tomorrow. I am going to make sure that she repents the day she came to me looking for a job at AR"

And with that he just stormed out.

---

Authors Note:

Hello my dear readers! Hope you are all doing well. As always, i wanted to give a huge thank you to all the lovelies who took time out to leave few words in the previous chapters. 🧡

Also, if any of you wanted to listen to the song that our dear Arnav sang for Khushi - below is the button that will take to its YouTube link. It is "If You're Not The One by Daniel Bedingfield"

Click Me

It is an old song which I absolutely love, so wanted to make it a part of this story. May be play it in the background while to you read this😉